define or defined

job fair. countless young men and women. sweat. standing in line with the glimpse of hope.

after all you have done. your honorable sweat. your wasted time for not having fun with friends, family, or the life itself. these are what you need to go, all down the road. begging for living. for something that you will working your ass off. again.

and these things rumbling in my head. how deep I need to bow off my head to mister and missus manager? or I just too proud with myself? is it how the world running? or I just too high with my pride? to say yes to everything they need? do I really need to be what they want? 

some interview I had before, I got myself that I was in that position. begging, answer to what they wanted to hear, while later realized that “this is not what I wanted” and “I shouldn’t be like this”. 

let say, that this how the world is running. finished the school. thinking that I am finished unchained myself, then I need to lock another chain to my neck, and working my ass off. again. 

I’d like to live a life doing good stuff rather than not doing bad stuff. Doing what I love, not what ‘they’ love me to do. Redefine myself to the society, not defined by society. I really really wish that someday, I could be so bold and confident. To say that “this is good enough”, just because I choose it. 

“After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting.” 
― Choke - Chuck Palahniuk